Being a mom of multiples can really be overwhelming at times-sike, just kidding, it’s overwhelming all the time! They each have different needs and wants and you can’t cater to them all at the same time because their needs are different; that’s three different needs for our family.
With that said, concerns don’t usually arise until kids are in a routine environment, more so in a school setting, specifically in first and second grades.
First, let me give you some background information on our daughter, Kaylee.
Kaylee is our oldest; she is the sweetest, kindest, Christ fearing, and smartest little girl you will ever meet.
This year we noticed that Kaylee was having difficulty focusing on the little things. We had issues when giving her directions, asking her to do small tasks, and we became increasingly frustrated.
What was the issue?
A.D.D=Attention Deficit Disorder
As parents, you always want to sweep things under the rug, because honestly, your child is perfect and there are no imperfections. Right, No, Wrong!
We took action immediately and discussed things with her teacher, who provided us with daily summaries. Kaylee was being self distracted and having difficulties finishing her work. When we received her first report card, Kaylee had two ‘N’s in the focus/attention department. About that time, we had one of our children stay with my mom for two weeks to get ready for Christmas and other things. Once we dropped our son off we started redirecting our attention on to Kaylee. We worked really hard on redirecting and reinforcing positive behaviors for the next two weeks and keeping close communication with her teacher.
Instead of getting the official diagnosis from the doctor and putting her on medication, which is totally fine in some instances, we decided that our parenting style and skills needed refreshing and we have found that these things for us have been extremely successful.
Our New Parenting Style:
- Be Direct. When you ask your child something, make sure it’s clear and in a way that they understand.
- Eye Contact. When you’re talking to your child, make sure you’re looking at them until you’re done talking..with three kids it can be difficult to side track and focus your attention on other things while your child is talking their heart out to you.
- Reinforce. Reinforcement is important. Before school we would let Kaylee know that if she completed her work that she could have 30 extra minutes to sit up with mom and dad after her younger siblings went to bed. Another example is reading an extra book at night, an extra dessert, or simply extra iPad time. Monetary things don’t always have to come into play, but if it works, do so. For example: we use the app: iRewardChart, which gives stars for their behaviors/chores, etc. If they get so many starts at the end of the week, then they get sweet frog, but only reinforcing that a certain amount of stars is reached.
- Love. You may think that this one is easy, but with multiple children you assume you’ve given all your kids hugs and kisses and told them “I love you” make sure that as their parent you are giving them that Love connection frequently so they know how much they are loved, hourly, even.
Kaylee has not needed medication and since we have redirected our parenting skills to our new style, Kaylee has been consistent with her behaviors, turning in her work, and staying focused.
I hope this post helps you, the reader, and just to understand that for things like this it’s ok!