PICTURE CREDIT: Tyler Phillips Photography
I had the opportunity to interview a mom who is in the adoption field. Please see their interview below!
Moms, Minivans, & Messes: Family
Phillips Family: Our bio kids are Paislee (6) and Sutter (5). Our adopted sons name is Bekker (3) we got him from birth and our foster daughters we will refer to as K (5.5) and M (2.5)
Moms, Minivans, & Messes: Why choose adoption/foster?
Phillips Family: We always felt a pull to orphan care of all sorts so we knew adoption would be in our future. Foster care was the big surprise. We, along with everyone, had too many fears in regards to fostering. If you had asked us 4 years ago if we would ever considered it our answer would have been from a place of fear, ‘no that would be too hard’ But It is no secret that there is a HUGE need, but not just a need for homes in general but for GOOD homes. We started seeing that there are few people who are foster parens for the right reasons and often ended up damaging these kids more and that broke us. we knew we could offer them love and safety in their shattering storm, and even though we were afraid of the ‘what ifs’ we became more afraid of what would happen to these children if we didn’t step out. We were able to set aside our selfishness and put ourselves in the shoes of these kid. They are paying the price for someone else’s mistakes and the least we could do is try and provide a place of refuge.
Moms, Minivans, & Messes: How did you know you were ready?
Phillips Family: we WERENT. (you could read my last blog post to learn more phillourhome.com). But we knew without a doubt that children needed homes, love and HOPE, whether or not we were in a place financially or emotionally was out of the question. We realized anything else would be with selfish mindset and out of fear and we didn’t want either living in our hearts. So we jumped in, though we were far from ready. living in fear isn’t living after all
Moms, Minivans, & Messes: What does the phrase ‘i wasn’t expected, i was selected’ mean…
Phillips Family: lol no idea.
Moms, Minivans, & Messes: How would a child you’ve fostered/adopted describe you?
Phillips Family: Oh man, no idea 🙂 i would hope that they would see the huge amount love, dedication and sacrifice. That we opened our doors, hearts and arms even in the most inconvenient times. That there wasn’t an ounce of ‘self’ in us and that they would all walk away with seeing the importance of putting others first. But on the more everyday side, i would hope that they would remember the FUN and PEACE that filled our home, even in the moments of pure and utter chaos 🙂
Moms, Minivans, & Messes: What are your strengths and weaknesses when working with children?
Phillips Family: For me my strengths of working with others peoples kids is different then my own. I lose my cool a lot faster for my own unfortunately. but I try to always show unconditional love, even in the midst of stressful situations. That my kids never doubt my support and always know their self worth. and that at the end of the day, no matter how much they have messed up, they can always come to me and talk about it. My weaknesses would be that when I get super overwhelmed i have moment of freak out, sometimes just in my head, sometimes out loud, and occasionally at a child. As much as i hate that, it is good because it gives me the opportunity to ask them for forgiveness and to show them that we all mess up and that even mommy is not perfect. We are always able to end on a good note and i even have asked them to hold me accountable if it ever happens again.
Moms, Minivans, & Messes: Three words to describe our family and why?
Phillips Family: I had a friend answer this who has known us for years.. felt strange answering it myself.
Ok so it’s quite hard to narrow down to just three words to described Tyler and Courtnay but I will try 😉
faithful-this word is the first one that came to mind for me… First and foremost they are both faithful in their relationships… God, eachother, family and friendships. In everything they do they look to God for guidance and direction and do all that they do in faithfulness to the Lord and his plans for them. They are faithful to their kiddos… In all they do they make sure to weigh all options and see how it will effect their family while still trusting in God to guide them. Their friendships show faithfulness in now no matter the distance or business of life Tyler and c take time to be faithful in their loyalty to friends in making time for each one individually even if just a quick text check in or a 5 plus hour drive to celebrate big moments!
Driven- in everything they do as a couple and family their are driven to do it well and complete! No matter how many obstacles are put into their way… Where most people would give up they keep going and trust the end result. They are driven to keep gods plan for them in motion and do what it takes to complete even when times get really really hard.
Loving- they love on people and each other like no one I know! They both come from amazing and loving families and have kept those values and morals strong in their own family structure. They take time to make amazing memories and love on their kiddos through everyday play and vacations. But they also take time to check out and get sitters to love each other and date one another in their crazy fun busy season of kids… They put each other first and it shows in their teamwork abilities they strive on! Their love is the reason already so many little wonderful children have been given a new hope at life and a new chance to succeed. I’ve never met two more amazing faithful driven loving people as I have found in the Phillips.
Moms, Minivans, & Messes: What was the process of adoption like?
Phillips Family: durationsclasses, home study – The process for both is pretty long as expected. You have to basic intro classes, finger printing, more classes, interviews, more classes and home study. They all take time, but if you see it as an opportunity to learn and grow then the time isn’t so bad. the classes are very eye opening and the home study is in depth which is intimidating to some people, but they just want to know exactly who it is that is walking into this arena. its a long but needed step.
Moms, Minivans, & Messes: How did your family react to the idea?
Phillips Family: Our family was all for the adoption of a small child, because there is little risk. But when we started down the foster care road fear set in for everyone. My parents, as well as close friends, were worried about what foster care could expose our own children to. They were worried that we weren’t necessarily putting our kids first. But once we explained that the idea of teaching our children what it looked like to be the hands and feet of Jesus at such a young age was so important, and that to us, that WAS putting our family first, they understood. Also, we could all live in the land of the ‘what ifs’ but that doesn’t get anyone very far. We had to trust that in saying YES to this calling, the the Lord would in turn protect my children.
Mom, Minivans, & Messes: What are your future plans for adopting/fostering?
Phillips Family: We hear stories of people who have foster like 98 kids in their lifetime and that I’m always AMAZED at. We would love to be able to extend love to that many children. But at the same time have a desire to adopt again. We have no idea what our future holds, all we know is that it most certainly includes orphan care and are so excited about that! There is far too much hurt in the world to not have open arms.
I would like to thank the Phillips family for allowing me to interview their beautiful family.
Follow them on Instagram: PHILLOURHOME