Chaos & Love

It’s quarter to seven in the morning and I’m halfway falling off the bed from a little boy who needed mama and a baby girl who also needed mama. Regardless of the time, I needed to journal.

Oh, if you’re wondering where my husband and other child are- they are sleeping on the couch. Not because we are fighting or mad at each other, but because he had a really nice sleep and our little girl wanted to sleep next to him. 💜

The chaos can be fun and other times it can be disastrous. We have to choose how to respond to it..

1. Do we want to Love through the Chaos, or

2. Be Bitter through the Chaos

It’s hunting season and while raising three kids is hard all by itself, life goes on and doesn’t stop for anyone.

I find myself getting bitter at the beginning of hunting season because I instantly become a single mom/widow/whatever you want to call it, but, regardless, I’m the one trying to resolve and argue with my kids who will be cleaning up the cow poop they stepped in and brought it into the house.

I find priorities being pushed back further and further.

Somehow, my husband can come home at 7:30-8pm and be exhausted from working all day on the family farm, but I’m still left to keep the house running.

Dishes can be piled up and not get clean and like our dishwasher currently that is not cleaning the dishes and leaving residue-I’m the one who is responsible for getting them done.

I’m not bitter, I just want to be better.

Ok, let’s put all that aside and look at the positives:

  • My husband is not having glamorous love affairs on 9th street
  • My husband isn’t selling or using drugs
  • My husband surely isn’t running a small town sweat shop

NO!

He is…

  • Working hard
  • Helping his family
  • Hunting to provide the steady flow of meat our family needs to survive
  • Teaching our children life lessons that will never be taught anywhere else

The Chaos immediately turns into Love when I see my husband setting a good Godly example for our family. The Love he shares through hunting, processing, and other things they do on the farm will be passed on to our children.

The Chaos comes to a halt when he fits in hunting time together for just the two of us🦌

For now, I’m going to continue to pray that God continues to keep us together through all this chaos..I’m going to pray that God continues to show his love through my husband and our children learning life lessons that can only be taught through our Lord.

Do you find yourself and your life being Chaotic?

Share with how you handle it..I’d love to hear from you💜

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Unchanging, Constant , & Steady

For a long time I’ve always asked the same question: “How do I know God is trying to talk to me?”

Tonight, the puzzle was solved. 

My mom Bible Study was completely relevant to tonight’s random discussion with a bunch of great ladies. 


These are pictures of Our oldest, Born seven years ago and my oh my has she changed in her short years. While Kaylee continued to grow into our sweet daughter, God remained the same. The God we prayed to about so badly wanting a child so healthy and bright, is the same God we continue to pray to about our health, well being, and love. 💓

Tonight while sitting at church with friends, we discussed change in jobs. So much so that many years ago jobs were consistent and changes in jobs were rare. Tonight we discussed that changes can happen for the good and to not look at it for the bad. While this has been something I’ve been personally struggling with lately, I know that everything happens for a reason and these reasons are because my God is consistent. He is the same God that was with me through my first job and he is the same God that will be with me through my last. Regardless of how many jobs I have.

We have been married to each other for a little over ten years and even though our appearance has changed (just a little bit😜) and have created three beautiful children, we have had the same God through our wedding date, through the birth of our three beautiful children.


Through faulty health and the passing of much loved ones, like my poppop, God remained the same.


Tonight, my kids drove me crazy so much so that I had to scream to get their attention and whip some butt to get ready for church(😂) but through all the midsts of the post screaming behavior pictures I took of my kiddos, God remained calm and steady and listened to my prayers and calmed anxieties. 

Jesus is the same yesterday and today and forever. Hebrews 13:8

Even though change is not always easy to embrace, I’ve reminded myself to learn to accept it because God has always remained the same. (Consistent & Steady)

His love for us is never-ending. 

Consumed with Limited Influences

For the past several months, my focus was diverted to my career path and I had quickly forgotten many duties.
My Godly Duties

My Spousal Duties

My family Duties

My home Duties

The list goes on and on and on. I was so consumed by my work that I honestly just forgotten my motherly Duties and all the Duties listen above.
God allows things to happen at the right moment at the right time and while some days we may not understand the meaning or the know in it all, we have to be still and know that our Lord has a greater path for us, always!

This was the first time I was able to spend an evening with my husband and go on an annual date! We spent our ten year anniversary singing and dancing, well mostly me singing and dancing, along with Carrie Underwood.  


We had a blast and even enjoyed each other’s company. I couldn’t believe how much time I wasted away from my husband and this beautiful family we created for a job. 
My husband And I discussed many things on the way to the concert, but the one thing my husband said made me realize why we are still married,”I will support you in anything you do” I could mess up a million times and my husband would still have my back. 
We had a truly great time and we’re just in awe that we have survived as a couple this long.

Our three beautiful kids that we made..I was consumed with my job and put them on the back burner. What was I thinking?! Each of our children needed my time and I was consumed with other things that I had forgotten about their needs and how they needed their father. Kaylee needed a lot of attention with our ADHD, Chelsea needed more love, hugs, and kisses, and Walker just wanted more cuddle time. I had forgotten about all that. It was pretty selfish of me and I’ve realized that I had wasted three months of my life neglecting my children to care for other children.

Since I stepped away from my career, I have been able to spend more time with my God, keeping my children more in touch with my Lord, and spending more time in my daily devotions-feeding my soul, that was also neglected.


Since then, I’ve had so much time to consume myself and my responsibilities with positive influences! I’ve never been happier; my children are happier and are learning more about God. My husband and I are finally communicating more about our love for one another and life has been pretty laid back and happy!


God has finally put our life on track, so don’t ever limit your influences and consume them with what God doesn’t want because if you listen, he will tell you!

School, work, family, and Life.

The summer ended with a small family trip to the beach, Assateague Island to be exact. The kids and I had a blast with the family. It was a wonderful way to end the summer season for us!


The school year started and we struggled to get into routine again as all three kiddos started school.  

Walker started his first year as a role model to special needs kiddos and has been doing a great job! We are so proud of him.

As a mom I was not prepared, physically and emotionally, for our last child to “flee” from the house and to become a “big boy”. It has put a lot of strain on me, but currently it has taken me a long time to adjust!

We now have a second grader, a first grader, and a preschooler full time at school. 

I stressed for the longest time about Walker going to school and surprisingly he has been awesome in school with no difficulties! 

The girls are doing well academically and are both way above where they need to be, which makes me a proud mama!


We were able to start enjoying the cooler weather that is FINALLY coming! We spent the day on a family picnic touring the blue ridge parkway! We really enjoy our family time!💜


The girls participated in their first ever pageant and we were so grateful to have my sister in law and cousin help with hair and makeup and a special shoutout to grandma for helping out with the dress, the day of the pageant:) 

The girls didn’t win, but it was an awesome learning experience and truly an eye opener to get them to open up publicly! We will have awesome luck next year!

Our kids recently celebrated grandparents day and it was even more special that their great grandmother was able to attend the special event💜


Thanks to this woman, I’m so happy with a new church!! It’s such an awesome movement when the family can agree on something! Thank you Mrs. Dana for not giving up on me:)

That’s about it for right now, and while I understand that three kids may be nothing for a mama to 4,5,or 6, it’s a bunch for me and that’s the adventure that was planned for me and my family!
Until next post,
Love, 
Jessica

Moms, Minivans, and Messes

Afraid of the ADHD Monster

As I woke up this morning to do my mom devotional, during the peace and quiet I endure by waking up very early, so that I can think and have God time to start my day, I was a bit overwhelmed with excitement because my devotional for today answered what I’ve been fearing for a while.

 

Here is the devotional I read:

“As children we were fearful of monsters under the bed, or we were frightened by the thought of what could be lurking in the dark corners of the room. As irrational as those fears were, they were real to us. We froze; dared not to breathe or cry out, shut our eyes tightly bidding sleep to come. The nights and the darkness they brought seemed endless.

 

As adults we still fear monsters; however, these days they take form of an irate boss, difficulty with a relationship, an unfavorable medical diagnosis, or a credit card bill. Fear grips us in a real and powerful way, immobilizing us. If we aren’t careful, fear can destroy our peace of mind.

 

I sought the Lord, and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to him are radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed. (Psalm 34:4-5)

 

What are the monsters that you fear? As a child of God, you can cry out to him, confident that he will help. You can shake fear and know that whatever monster you face, you don’t face it alone.”

 

What have I been fearful of and battling for a while now, you may ask? ADHD.

 

It’s something I have and have struggled with my whole life and while it wasn’t something that was popular while I was growing up, I’m so glad it’s something that is recognized these days.

 

Before I became a mom, I was one who always said my kids would never be medicated; I was so judgmental over mothers about EVERY SINGLE CHOICE moms made.

 

When Kaylee started first grade, we noticed behaviors that were out of the norm for her and it became difficult in school and at home to redirect her behaviors and attention multiple times. We decided to have Kaylee tested for ADHD.

 

In December 2015, Kaylee was officially diagnosed with ADHD and our world was turned upside down. (It’s funny looking back now how things just happen naturally, or how God puts things in our specific lives to help us understand how precious life can be as parents)

 

We discussed with Kaylee’s AMAZING doctor all of the options and since I was so against giving children a controlled substance, we decided not to give Kaylee medication and work hard on her behaviors with partnerships with her amazing teacher, who is also my best friend.

 

Our family worked extremely hard over the school year to promote redirection, focusing, paying attention, doing great work (Which, both of our kiddos are extremely smart) and staying on task.

 

Our hard work paid off by the end of the year because Kaylee became more focused in her studies and she continued to excel in her academics.

 

Something seemed to still not be so quite right and had us, as her parents, asking questions.

 

After many thoughts and prayers, this week we decided to give medication a chance. With the start of summer, it becomes a great opportunity to try medication out for Kaylee that will help her focus on one thing rather than many things at once.

 

Today is the day we are going to start her medication and our fears are drawing to a close. Is this going to work? Is this the right medication? What if it doesn’t work? Will this paralyze her? (These and many more questions are all thoughts we’ve had)

 

Please keep our family in your thoughts and prayers this summer as we embark on a new adventure together, figuring out if Kaylee is on the right medication for her ADHD, and that it helps her maintain her focus for future goals and academics and home life.

 

My devotion this morning spoke to me letting me know that God is with us through this new adventure and will always comfort us during these times. I was thankful to have this devotional time and appreciate all new adventures that come our way.

 

Lastly, I apologize to all moms I judged while I was a non-mom. As I’m learning, it truly is one of the worst things to do, while embarking on your life journey.

This is the face of my “ADHD Monster” receiving her Principal’s Award for academics and being an overall student in her class ❤

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I should be Folding Laundry, but…

I should be folding laundry right now, but it’s already done.

As you can tell, it has been a busy end of school year for our family with field trips, new jobs, field days, t-ball games, and anything else that keeps us from doing our regularly scheduled “Mom” job.

For starters, I was able to go on a field trip with Chelsea, to a family pumpkin farm. There we rode cows, played on the playground, search for gold, and enjoy a hayride on the farm. I was thankful to have that time with her and attend her field trip experience with her on that day. This is why at this moment in time we were unable to fold the laundry and put it away.


Next, we attended a beautiful wedding, where my husband had the honor of singing for the bride and groom’s first dance. My husband does such a great job with his singing and I’m honored to be by his side each and every time that someone asks him to be part of their big day. Here are some pictures below! We had a blast with some pretty amazing and awesome people, who we will come to love and befriend. This is why at this moment we were unable to fold laundry and put it away.


Then, I had the opportunity to attend another field trip with my oldest daughter to the Booker T Washington National Monument. We had a blast learning and exploring the park where Booker T. Washington grew up. This is why at this moment we were unable to fold laundry and put it away.


Mother’s day came and gone in the blink of an eye, but like every year it was a day that we spent doing what mom likes to do-Hiking. The entire family went hiking at the Booker T. Washington National Monument. They had an amazing trail for visitors and we had the opportunity to play in the water, reflecting, and spending quality family time together. Happy Mother’s Day to me 🙂 This is why at this moment in time we were unable to fold laundry and put it away.


Field day is one of the most exciting times in an elementary school in our county. It is a huge water event, where we are expected to get wet. I’m like a big kid when it comes to these events and so thankful I’m able to be part of the day. I think I got more soaked than some of the kiddos! This is why at this moment in time we were unable to fold laundry and put it away.


Little man started playing wiffle ball to prepare him for tball and I couldn’t be more proud of him. Walker is a true boy of character and happiness. He gets so excited about seeing his friends and not to mention, I feel like he has an amazing coach that will be such a positive influence on him as he grows. While we have only been to one practice so far with how our schedules have worked, this is why at this moment in time we have been unable to fold laundry and put it away.

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The last day of school happened and Kaylee was honored to receive the Principal’s award for overall student on everything that included academics, behavior, attendance, etc. What a proud mom moment to have witnessed and be there for my daughter. This is another reason why at the moment we were unable to fold the laundry and put it away.


I took a couple of hours on the last day of school to enjoy time with my children before they left for their first family vacation with their grandmother, great aunt, and great grandmother. We played on the farm, looked at the cows, played in the rain, and waited for trains to sound it’s horn. It was a great family day, which is another reason why we were unable to at the moment fold the laundry and put it away.


The kids left Friday with my mom to go on vacation. This time, we had plenty of time to clean, and by clean I mean, throw a ton of things away. I had time to fold laundry, clean every single room in this house with every spec of detail possible. Chris and I also had time to go to two get togethers this weekend which turned out to be completely amazing and had such a great time. I’m sincerely thankful and grateful for good friends!

  

Kindergarten, Farm field trip, and Happiness

When I woke up this morning, it was cold and rainy. Of course it was raining, we have an outdoor field trip today. Instead of thinking, “Oh, I don’t think I’m going to go today because I don’t want to get wet, walk through wet grass, and look like something that was dragged out of the sewer” I got dressed in my favorite water shoes, put my favorite purple shirt on and told myself I was going to embrace the day, whatever was thrown at me; no umbrella included. Loaded up the minivan and off to school we went- with big smiles on our faces:)

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The kiddos were so ready for their field trip, but not before a couple of errands that needed to be completed for the teacher, which I was excited to help out.

Chelsea was star today which made it even more special. Each kid was given a piece of paper that had “Chelsea is_______” and the kids had to draw a picture and fill in the words. Some of these kids were pretty creative. Below are some of the examples they had written for her in her book. So sweet ❤

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We arrived at the farm for our field trip and to our surprise, while other schools canceled, we were 1 of 3 classes that were there today and guess what-NO RAIN! How exciting! Life is so much better when you’re embracing and chasing it.

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We had a great time swinging on the tire swings, riding in the cows that were pulled by a tractor, playing in corn, and riding on a hay ride! Kindergarten is so much fun! A farm is even better! I decided to take the bus to embrace the full scope of a field trip and it’s so much fun with the kiddos! Brings back a ton of memories.

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These kiddos pressured me into going down the huge slide today and like an even bigger kid- I stepped up to the challenge and went down the slide, but not before taking this selfie with them 🙂

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Another mama stepped up to the challenge and slide down the slide 🙂 This is our girl scout leader-she is wonderful 🙂 A great leader she is and fun!

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Of course all good things must come to an end and after we got home, Chelsea and I were exhausted!!!

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This is my happiness post. This picture was also taken back around Christmas time and we are ALWAYS excited about Christmas…just as right now..I’m super ecstatic to start my forever career as a Daycare director! It has been so nice with friends, family, and school employees congratulating me. I’m just as happy right now about my new position as I was at this moment when I took this picture- Oh, and that man standing with me- yeah, he was the one who told me to never give up and keep trying and one day you’ll get to where you want to be:)

 

Ok, that’s enough blogging for tonight.

Good Night:)

Moms, Minivans, & Messes