Chaos & Love

It’s quarter to seven in the morning and I’m halfway falling off the bed from a little boy who needed mama and a baby girl who also needed mama. Regardless of the time, I needed to journal.

Oh, if you’re wondering where my husband and other child are- they are sleeping on the couch. Not because we are fighting or mad at each other, but because he had a really nice sleep and our little girl wanted to sleep next to him. 💜

The chaos can be fun and other times it can be disastrous. We have to choose how to respond to it..

1. Do we want to Love through the Chaos, or

2. Be Bitter through the Chaos

It’s hunting season and while raising three kids is hard all by itself, life goes on and doesn’t stop for anyone.

I find myself getting bitter at the beginning of hunting season because I instantly become a single mom/widow/whatever you want to call it, but, regardless, I’m the one trying to resolve and argue with my kids who will be cleaning up the cow poop they stepped in and brought it into the house.

I find priorities being pushed back further and further.

Somehow, my husband can come home at 7:30-8pm and be exhausted from working all day on the family farm, but I’m still left to keep the house running.

Dishes can be piled up and not get clean and like our dishwasher currently that is not cleaning the dishes and leaving residue-I’m the one who is responsible for getting them done.

I’m not bitter, I just want to be better.

Ok, let’s put all that aside and look at the positives:

  • My husband is not having glamorous love affairs on 9th street
  • My husband isn’t selling or using drugs
  • My husband surely isn’t running a small town sweat shop


He is…

  • Working hard
  • Helping his family
  • Hunting to provide the steady flow of meat our family needs to survive
  • Teaching our children life lessons that will never be taught anywhere else

The Chaos immediately turns into Love when I see my husband setting a good Godly example for our family. The Love he shares through hunting, processing, and other things they do on the farm will be passed on to our children.

The Chaos comes to a halt when he fits in hunting time together for just the two of us🦌

For now, I’m going to continue to pray that God continues to keep us together through all this chaos..I’m going to pray that God continues to show his love through my husband and our children learning life lessons that can only be taught through our Lord.

Do you find yourself and your life being Chaotic?

Share with how you handle it..I’d love to hear from you💜


…and on the third try, God gave us a Boy💙

Having three angels are the best gift God blessed us with, however, he blessed us even greater with a boy after two amazing girls. 

When you’re pregnant with your first child, it’s not a secret that SO many of us moms secretly want a boy-you know to be the protector for his future siblings. It’s turns out once again, that God, had different plans for us.

Just like with my secret post partum depression came a lot of hate. A lot of hate because it seemed that everyone was having boys instead of me and it continued with our second child. My brother and sister in law both had boys and I craved to give birth to a healthy baby boy. My post partum grew into hate and my hate grew into jealousy and my jealously grew into me becoming such a negative person.

Now, let me back up and put into perspective why I truly have always wanted a boy.

I’ve always had trouble with men-my dad was non existent from my life. My mom, who had several men in her life for reasons and troubles with her own personal relationship with her father and brothers. (No blame, however-its life) 

The only male relationship I could stand was the one with my poppop. He was there for me, he was a phone call away, and he was my provider and always bought us food and clothes when my single mom was unable to do so. All other male relationships were completely awkward for me.

Until I was introduced to an amazing man by a group of girlfriends, My future husband.

There are not enough words to explain how humble, loving, God fearing, caring, and respectful my husband is and still continues to be!

With such a great man that came into my life, And the men I had to grow up with in my life, I wanted a boy to love me, a boy to turn out to be just like his daddy, a boy who would grow up and become a God fearing humble man because the last thing our world needs is another loser man who can’t and won’t support his family. I want a boy I can raise who will be there for his family, raise his family, and make sure that God is first in everything they do.

May 2012, my sister in law surrounded us with our girls as we went into the ultrasound room to find out what our third child would be-even color coded our girls with Kaylee wearing pink and Chelsea wearing blue. My sister in law and Chelsea were on top as we found out that in December we would be expecting our boy, finally. So many emotions filled that day from finding out to closing our eyes at night, we just were so overjoyed with emotions. 

Fast forward three years later and with our baby boy turning four next month, we have been blessed with such a fun loving, sweet, caring, funny, God loving baby boy. His blonde hair blue eyes dimpled cheeks nearly puts a smile on my face every day as he is turning out to be the boy we had always wanted. 

As for me personally, it has made me into a better aunt and a little more gentle towards men, knowing that all the men in the world aren’t like the men I had in my life growing up.

It has also made me realize the time I also wasted not spending more time with all of my amazing awesome nephews-because they are all rockstars and awesome cousins💙💜

Life is too short and for this mom, I’m thankful for all my kiddos nieces and nephews includes:) I love you all to the moon and back💙

Moms need to vote, too!🇺🇸

Happy Election Eve!

Tomorrow our country will choose who will run our country for the next four years. I have three reasons why I will be voting tomorrow and you, as a mom, should, too!

1. Our Lord and Savior

Before you practice your right to vote tomorrow, say a prayer for our nation, for America, for our God given life, and for our enemies. 

God has provided me with life and that means that it is important for me to practice my right to vote to make sure that his will is done for our country. 

And just remember….

How could I vote for someone who doesn’t wear an American flag pin? How can I vote for someone who has negatively been in the news for trouble. Pray for our nation, pray for Trump & Hillary.

2. My family, My children, and my Land

This weekend was the opening weekend of muzzleloader season. How does that tie into voting tomorrow you may ask? Well, you see, we were able to hunt on our land and exercise our right to hunt. God provided us with deer to hunt to feed our family. If this amendment is taken away from us, how are we suppose to teach our kiddos to continue to provide our family with food. 

Our kiddos were so excited to have this learning experience with their daddy. If this right is taken from us, how will our children learn essential and necessary life rules. How are children suppose to explore and learn how to survive. 

In the above picture, my daughter is here learning patience, safety, and napping skills. All jokes aside, how cute is this and if our right is revoked this picture would not be available for posting. Our hearts would break.

How would my daughter be able to excoriate her fishing right on our family’s land if our land is taken from our family? She is learning skills that she will be able to pass on to others, her friends, her children, her grandchildren, etc.

If land is revoked from us, how would the future of this handsome fella look for exploring? Kayaking, camping, and other outdoor adventures?

Not to mention, how can I vote for someone who would allow me to abort these three children I solely spent 10+ hours in labor for to give birth? 

How would this mom be able to live without the mom lessons I’ve learned?

3. Moms Everywhere

I’m a mom, with a minivan, and a ton of messes. I’m just like any other mom who wakes up having to take care of their family and children. When you vote tomorrow-educate your children, bring your children, if it’s legal in your state-take a selfie with your child! Allow them to see you pray..Vote for your children and the future that they will have and be part of in our country.
To all mom,

Practice your right to vote tomorrow if for nothing else your right to have your children and Right to raise them in our beautiful land of the free country!

Anxious Hearts, Desired Plans, & Saved by the Grace of God

Being a mom is one of the toughest jobs in the world. A lot of times, I feel anxious because I can’t just let things go. Am I doing this parenting thing right or wrong? Am I disciplining my children as I should?

The desires of our hearts can constantly be at odds with the desires God has for us. When they align, it is a beautiful, peaceful realization. But when they are different, it can create confusion, mistrust, and frustration-often times becaue we lack discernment, which by Christian definition is perception in the absence of judgment with a view to obtaining spiritual direction and understanding.

How do we handle this? Just pray mamas. Pray that our Lord gives us peace. We pray that his will be done no matter what that means for us. In strict obedience to God, we choose not to be anxious, which is easier said than done. He has already promised to guard our hearts. If we as mothers start to feel frustrated or anxious again, we pray. So much of life is out of our control, so why do we bother agonizing when we can just pray.

Matthew 6:33-34 Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things.

What desires do you have that God hasn’t yet shown you? Can you truly release them to his care, trusting him with your life plan?


Let us Pray!

Unchanging, Constant , & Steady

For a long time I’ve always asked the same question: “How do I know God is trying to talk to me?”

Tonight, the puzzle was solved. 

My mom Bible Study was completely relevant to tonight’s random discussion with a bunch of great ladies. 

These are pictures of Our oldest, Born seven years ago and my oh my has she changed in her short years. While Kaylee continued to grow into our sweet daughter, God remained the same. The God we prayed to about so badly wanting a child so healthy and bright, is the same God we continue to pray to about our health, well being, and love. 💓

Tonight while sitting at church with friends, we discussed change in jobs. So much so that many years ago jobs were consistent and changes in jobs were rare. Tonight we discussed that changes can happen for the good and to not look at it for the bad. While this has been something I’ve been personally struggling with lately, I know that everything happens for a reason and these reasons are because my God is consistent. He is the same God that was with me through my first job and he is the same God that will be with me through my last. Regardless of how many jobs I have.

We have been married to each other for a little over ten years and even though our appearance has changed (just a little bit😜) and have created three beautiful children, we have had the same God through our wedding date, through the birth of our three beautiful children.

Through faulty health and the passing of much loved ones, like my poppop, God remained the same.

Tonight, my kids drove me crazy so much so that I had to scream to get their attention and whip some butt to get ready for church(😂) but through all the midsts of the post screaming behavior pictures I took of my kiddos, God remained calm and steady and listened to my prayers and calmed anxieties. 

Jesus is the same yesterday and today and forever. Hebrews 13:8

Even though change is not always easy to embrace, I’ve reminded myself to learn to accept it because God has always remained the same. (Consistent & Steady)

His love for us is never-ending. 

Until your pictures become a Memory

Hi, it’s me, Moms, Minivans, & Messes.

This evening was an eye opener for me and I’ll tell you why:

My sister in law said something this morning that caught my attention:

Something to the effect of “I wish I had taken more pictures of our second son when he was born….”

Since I can remember having my own phone, I have always been known to take a picture of something..My drink, my dinner, my messy house, my messy kids, etc. Ive always been ridiculed for taking pictures of EVERYTHING and posting them to social media. I’m making memories because I know one day that is all they will be are memories. These memories make me happy because a year from now I’ll be able to look back at a time where I was extremely happy about a special event in my life.

This is my family and my son and for a short 45 minutes we sat with family and friends and celebrated a young couple giving their lives to each other for the rest of their lives, or a wedding. It was also a reminder of the love we shared when we gave our lives to each other a mere ten years ago.

This is a memory of our first family vacation. The vacation where we had to buy a brand new car because our transmission died, the vacation where we brought two nannies who helped us tremendously, and even got a laugh or two out of the trip.

This memory is when Aunt Edna took Walker for a ride on the golf cart. It’s a memory because one day she will no longer be here physically.

This is a special memory that I will cherish because it was one of our date nights and when I’m feeling down, I always look back to pictures like this and realize that my sweet husband makes me laugh and then I’m reminded why I love him so much. 

Today, we met Jed, a new cousin and he is just precious! I was talking to my sister in law about how she took a lot of pictures. I really enjoyed taking pictures, too because I want our kids to grow up and see all these memories that I have shared. I want to be able to remember when I’m 90 and my dementia has set in that I lived a good life with a loving family.

Today we also stopped by my inlaws and took time to enjoy company with my kids great grandmother, because one day she will also be a memory. Our kids cherish this time with her so much. 

Take as many pictures as you can and enjoy taking them because one day they will only be a memory.💓

Consumed with Limited Influences

For the past several months, my focus was diverted to my career path and I had quickly forgotten many duties.
My Godly Duties

My Spousal Duties

My family Duties

My home Duties

The list goes on and on and on. I was so consumed by my work that I honestly just forgotten my motherly Duties and all the Duties listen above.
God allows things to happen at the right moment at the right time and while some days we may not understand the meaning or the know in it all, we have to be still and know that our Lord has a greater path for us, always!

This was the first time I was able to spend an evening with my husband and go on an annual date! We spent our ten year anniversary singing and dancing, well mostly me singing and dancing, along with Carrie Underwood.  

We had a blast and even enjoyed each other’s company. I couldn’t believe how much time I wasted away from my husband and this beautiful family we created for a job. 
My husband And I discussed many things on the way to the concert, but the one thing my husband said made me realize why we are still married,”I will support you in anything you do” I could mess up a million times and my husband would still have my back. 
We had a truly great time and we’re just in awe that we have survived as a couple this long.

Our three beautiful kids that we made..I was consumed with my job and put them on the back burner. What was I thinking?! Each of our children needed my time and I was consumed with other things that I had forgotten about their needs and how they needed their father. Kaylee needed a lot of attention with our ADHD, Chelsea needed more love, hugs, and kisses, and Walker just wanted more cuddle time. I had forgotten about all that. It was pretty selfish of me and I’ve realized that I had wasted three months of my life neglecting my children to care for other children.

Since I stepped away from my career, I have been able to spend more time with my God, keeping my children more in touch with my Lord, and spending more time in my daily devotions-feeding my soul, that was also neglected.

Since then, I’ve had so much time to consume myself and my responsibilities with positive influences! I’ve never been happier; my children are happier and are learning more about God. My husband and I are finally communicating more about our love for one another and life has been pretty laid back and happy!

God has finally put our life on track, so don’t ever limit your influences and consume them with what God doesn’t want because if you listen, he will tell you!